was born in Margate,
Kent to the sound of a ropey tape recording of the Bow Bells –
as all good Margatonians are. I was christened on the Scenic
Railway and later renounced my faith in the River Caves. I didn't
like school, they didn't like me and I got out of town as soon as
I could. And no, I never slept with Tracey
the people at the dole office tricked me into working there.
It took me some years to realise that, despite my vastly improved
blackjack skills, the job wasn't for me. I invented World Phone in Sick
Day, became a writer and began organising an annual rampage
by hundreds of Santa Clauses.
saw the publication of my first book, A Fête Worse
Than Death. My second book, We're British, Innit, was published by Collins in 2008 (and in paperback in June 2010).
Readers of the Guardian have selected
articles by me as their favourite of the year on three occasions. I write for them,
the Daily Telegraph, Times, Express, Coast and a host of other publications. I am a regular guest on TV shows such as BBC Breakfast and Sky News, where I talk about Britain, Britishness, identity and pop culture. I also pop up as an expert on Britishness and Englishness on radio.
I also write the odd exhibition
catalogue essay for artists as well as thank you notes to my nan
for birthday presents.